Be a good person. Give the gift of a reliable erection. The outside of this 3D dick card is deceptively sweet, reading “Your Package Has Arrived” on the front cover. Little does that dirty dick lover know, this pop up card comes cocked and loaded with a veiny surprise. Upon opening this very adult greeting card, a slab of hefty man meat will erect itself into a rock hard statue–earning the gasp of a lifetime. Size queens may be a bit disappointed though. This schlong only measures in at about 4.5 inches in length.

• Made in Vietnam
• Weight: 1 oz (28.35 g)
• Dimensions: 7 x 5 x 0.1 in (17.8 x 12.7 x 0.3 cm)